What is Both/And?

Quite simply, Both/And means to hold more than one, often conflicting emotions at the same time.

I began to understand this idea while processing my own feelings about various subjects while I was in graduate school, doing my own work. Since then, I have tried to normalize the idea of having multiple, sometimes conflicting emotions, at the very same time. Our culture sometimes teaches that emotions themselves are “bad” and that if we DO have any negative ones, we better hurry up and deal with that.

As I began to understand that I was rarely, if ever, that one dimensional with my own emotions, it became one of the primary things I taught brave clients and occasionally good friends. It became a vessel for contentment and movement toward helping ourselves figure out HOW to deal with those conflicting emotions instead of just pushing them down.

My writing is full of Both/And EVERYWHERE and how embracing the polar opposites can finally help us be well with all of our feelings.

It is usually very honest (and human, including the occasional swear) and seeking the good, Jesus and hope. That is almost always the both/and for me.

If you visit here often, you WILL certainly hear me talk about Mr. Rogers. (I promise, you will!) My very favorite quote of his embodies both/and beautifully:

“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.”